Перейти к содержимому

Рекомендуемые сообщения

Warning labels can be very funny sometimes. Here are some examples of the ones which I often use as a task (the students need to explain what makes the labels sound funny -it's a good starter/ice-breaker/ a 5-minute activity if you have some time left):

1. Do not use while sleeping (on a Sears hair dryier)

2. Serving suggestions: defrost (on Swann frozen dinner pack)

3. Do not turn upside down (on the bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu box)

4. Product will be hopt after heating (Marks and spencer pudding)

5. Warning: keep out of children (Korean knife)

6. Not to be used for the other use (Japanese food processor)

7. Warning: may contain nuts. (sainsbury's peanuts package)

8. Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts (American airlines peanut packet)

9. Warning: contains milk (Cadbury's Dairy milk)

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
1. Do not use while sleeping (on a Sears hair dryier)

8. Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts (American airlines peanut packet)

9. Warning: contains milk (Cadbury's Dairy milk)

Они меня рассмешили больше всего :rolleyes:

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Great minds do not only think alike, they say what they think straightaway. Here are some quotations from one of the greatest speakers of the 21 century, the former US president George W. Bush. The only person who can beat him in oratory style is the former Russian prime-minister Victor Chernomyrdin, but alas, the Russian guy did not say anything in English, whereas George W. Bush did speak English... sort of. I use his quotations for analysis of mistakes, and students LOVE it. With less advanced students we just try to paraphrase the sayings so that they'd make sense, with others we try to tell what types of mistakes there are.

So, here we go:

 

1. ”That’s George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three — three or four books about him last year. Isn’t that interesting?” — During an interview with German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann in the Oval Office, May 5, 2006

2. ”I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake.” — On his best moment in office, interview with the German newspaper Bild am Sonntag, May 7, 2006

3. ”You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. No President wants to be a war President, but I am one.” — Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006

4. ”The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done.” –Regarding Iraq, ,Greeley, Colo., Nov. 4, 2006

5. ”This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates; these are the actual results for the fiscal year that ended February the 30th.” –On the fiscal year that ended on Sept. 30, Washington, D.C., Oct. 11, 2006

6. ”I think, tide turning– see, as I remember, I was raised in

the desert, but tides kind of — it’s easy to see a tide turn. Did I say those words?” — Responding to whether the tide was turning in Iraq, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

7. ”That’s called, A Charge To Keep, based upon a religious hymn. The hymn talks about serving God. The president’s job is never to promote a religion.” — During an interview with German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann in the Oval Office, May 5, 2006

8. ”People don’t need to worry about security. This deal wouldn’t go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America.” — On handing over U.S. port security to a United Arab Emerates company, Washington, D.C., Feb. 23, 2006

9. ”You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you’re gone.” — Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

10.”I’ve reminded the prime minister– the American people, Mr. Prime Minister, over the past months that it was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship.” Washington, D.C., June 29, 2006

11. ”Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words.”– Interview with Rush Limbaugh, Nov. 1, 2006

12. ”You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –George W. Bush, interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

13. ”The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany.” -George W. Bush, D.C., May 5, 2006

14. ”I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense.” -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. April 18, 2006

15. ”He was a state sponsor of terror. In other words, the government had declared, you are a state sponsor of terror.” -George W. Bush, on Saddam Hussein, Manhattan, Kan., Jan. 23, 2006

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

As I am told, this is a collection of the outcomes of a simple proverbs practice from a British school. 6-7 year-old were asked to match the beginnings and the endings of some of popular proverbs or write their own ending, and these are some of the answers:

 

* Strike while the ………insect is close.

* Never underestimate the power of…………ants.

* Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.

* Better to be safe than…………….punch a grade 7 boy.

* If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…….stink in the morning.

* It’s always darkest before…………DaylightSaving Time.

* You can lead a horse to water but………..how?

* No news is…………………………….impossible.

* A miss is as good as a………………….Mr.

* You can’t teach an old dog new…………..maths.

* Love all, trust………………………..me.

* The pen is mightier than the…………….pigs.

* An idle mind is…………………the best way to relax.

* Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.

* Happy the bride who……………gets all the presents.

* A penny saved is……………………….not much.

* Two’s company, three’s…………………the Musketeers.

* Don’t put off till tomorrow what….you put on to go to bed.

* Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and……….you have to blow your nose.

* There are none so blind as………………Stevie Wonder.

* Children should be seen and not………….smacked or grounded.

* If at first you don’t succeed……………get new batteries.

* You get out of something only what you……see in the picture on the box.

* When the blind leadeth the blind……..get out of the way.

* And the favorite:

* Better late than……………………….pregnant

 

You can really tell what the children were thinking about! :-)

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
6-7 year-old were asked to match the beginnings and the endings of some of popular proverbs or write their own ending, and these are some of the answers:

 

* Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.

* No news is…………………………….impossible.

* A miss is as good as a………………….Mr.

* You can’t teach an old dog new…………..maths.

* Love all, trust………………………..me.

* An idle mind is…………………the best way to relax.

* Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.

* Don’t put off till tomorrow what….you put on to go to bed.

* If at first you don’t succeed……………get new batteries.

* Better late than……………………….pregnant

 

They are not just funny)) They are so clever))) We can get the sense of those indirectly as well

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
Забавный диалог, построенный на игре омофонии и стереотипах:

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

...А у вас в коллекции есть что-то подобное? Поделитесь?

Просто шикарно!

От души посмеялась! :) :)

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

You really have to be careful which words you choose. As one of the Murphy laws says, if there is a slightest chance that your words can be misinterpreted, they will be. Here is a story that happened in the USA when an employee used the word "pedagogical", which a boss found very offensive:

 

As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the "Pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for perverts working in her company.

 

Finally, he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired - and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

 

You can find more stories here: http://www.britishexpat.com/Fun-Stuff-You-...To-B.308.0.html

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Below is a collection of quotation from letters which some Americans have written to the Public assistance department. Perhaps these can be used as a basis for coherence exercises?

 

  • Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in October
  • I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?
  • Mrs. Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
  • I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?
  • I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.
  • This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
  • Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man I am living with can’t do a thing until he knows.
  • I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.
  • In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
  • I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.
  • Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
  • My husband got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since.
  • You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?
  • I have no children yet as my husband is a bus driver and works night and day.
  • In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
  • I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with a doctor for 2 weeks and he hasn’t done me any good. If things don’t improve I will have to send for another doctor.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Спасибо за веселую разминку: после подготовки к сегодняшним занятиям мне очень кстати. :rolleyes:

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

An intellectual warming-up for language learners

 

I've found these on a few websites. Can you always guess what the pun in these sentences is? Like in "

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine." ("in Seine" sounds like "insane")

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

 

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

 

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

 

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

 

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

 

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

 

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

 

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

 

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

 

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

 

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

 

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

 

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

 

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

 

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

 

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

 

A will is a dead giveaway.

 

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

 

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

 

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

 

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

 

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was fined for littering.

 

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

 

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

A calendar's days are numbered.

 

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

 

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

 

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

 

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

 

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

I like to use these quotations as grounds for discussion with older students. The less successful students can always answer the question "What did this person mean by saying...?", and the more advanced students can always compare the situation then and now, whether things are the same in the country where the quotation comes from and in our region/country/part of the world and tell if they agree or disagree with the idea, providing arguments for and against. we usually have a lot of fun working like that, so I though I'd share the materials with you all:

 

1) Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. --- Mark Twain

2) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is Like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. --- Winston Churchill

3) A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw

4) Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner . --- James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

5) Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --- Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

6) Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to boys. --- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

7) Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

8) Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. and if it stops moving, subsidize it. --- Ronald Reagan (1986)

9) I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers

10) If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. --- P.J. O'Rourke

11) In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. --- Voltaire (1764)

12) Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. --- Pericles (430 B.C)

13) No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. --- Mark Twain (1866)

14) Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it. --- Unknown

15) The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery... --- Winston Churchill

16) What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. --- Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

17) A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. --- Thomas Jefferson

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Have you heard of the recent Ig-Nobel prizes? They are given for inventions/discoveries that seem irrelevant but provide interesting food for thought. Here wat some recent prizes were given for:

Public Health: Elena N Bodnar, Raphael C Lee, and Sandra Marijan of Chicago, US, for inventing a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks - one for the wearer and one to be given to a needy bystander.

 

Peace: Stephan Bolliger, Steffen Ross, Lars Oesterhelweg, Michael Thali and Beat Kneubuehl of the University of Bern, Switzerland, for determining whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full bottle of beer or with an empty bottle.

 

Veterinary medicine: Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson of Newcastle University, UK, for showing that cows with names give more milk than cows that are nameless.

 

Biology: Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu and Zhang Guanglei of Kitasato University Graduate School of Medical Sciences in Sagamihara, Japan, for demonstrating that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90% in mass by using bacteria extracted from the faeces of giant pandas.

 

Medicine: Donald L Unger of Thousand Oaks, California, US, for investigating a possible cause of arthritis of the fingers, by diligently cracking the knuckles of his left hand but not his right hand every day for more than 60 years.

Economics: The directors, executives, and auditors of four Icelandic banks for demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly transformed into huge banks, and vice versa (and for demonstrating that similar things can be done to an entire national economy).

 

Physics: Katherine K Whitcome of the University of Cincinnati, Daniel E Lieberman of Harvard University and Liza J. Shapiro of the University of Texas, all in the US, for analytically determining why pregnant women do not tip over.

 

Chemistry: Javier Morales, Miguel Apatiga and Victor M Castano of Universidad Nacional Autonoma in Mexico, for creating diamonds from tequila.

 

Literature: Ireland's police service for writing and presenting more than 50 traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender in the country - Prawo Jazdy - whose name in Polish means "Driving Licence".

 

Mathematics: Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe's Reserve Bank, for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers by having his bank print notes with denominations ranging from one cent to one hundred trillion dollars.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Спасибо за занятный материал. Могу добавить:

 

Robert Lucas, winner of the 1995 Nobel Prize in Economics for his work on the theory of "rational expectations," split his $1 million prize with his ex-wife.

If there were a Nobel Prize for Foresight or Timing, she should be nominated, based on a clause in their divorce settlement from seven years earlier: "Wife shall receive 50 percent of any Nobel Prize." The clause expired on October 31, 1995. Had Lucas won any year after, he would have kept the whole million.

 

Тут и про условные предложения можно поговорить.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

It's interesting that new events quickly give rise to new words and phrases. Swine flu has already led some people to coin a new phrase - Piglet Flu. In contrast to the dangerous Swine Flu, Piglet Flu is the common flu which is somewhat less dangerous but still very unpleasant.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
It's interesting that new events quickly give rise to new words and phrases. Swine flu has already led some people to coin a new phrase - Piglet Flu. In contrast to the dangerous Swine Flu, Piglet Flu is the common flu which is somewhat less dangerous but still very unpleasant.

Read the following announcement at school (Bristol, England):

Swine Flu in school

Hi everyone

I am working with Boots and Dubit to help make people like yourself and I aware about swine flu. Most people don’t really know about the symptoms so find it hard to know whether they have it or not. The symptoms are much like the ones of a common cold or flu. If your find that you, a friend, sibling or even parent have a high fever and two or more of the following symptoms, they may have contracted swine flu. The symptoms to be aware of are unusual tiredness, a headache, runny nose, sore throat, shortness of breath, a cough, loss of appetitive and aching muscles. In extreme cases the symptoms may include diarrhoea or vomiting.

If you think you have these symptoms or ever get them, contact your GP ASAP. Also, to avoid getting or spreading the virus I advise you to purchase hand sanitizer and pocket tissues just to keep everyone safe.

I hope this has been of some help to you....

and some words from 18-year-old female about it

- I think its kinda passing where I live now, because I haven't heard about it for a while & most people I know have already had it, including myself.

 

LOL

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
Here are some sentences with common mistakes the students make while speaking and writing.

Это что ....Слышали бы вы как говорит Европа...

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
Read the following announcement at school (Bristol, England):

Swine Flu in school

Hi everyone

I am working with Boots and Dubit to help make people like yourself and I aware about swine flu. Most people don’t really know about the symptoms so find it hard to know whether they have it or not. The symptoms are much like the ones of a common cold or flu. If your find that you, a friend, sibling or even parent have a high fever and two or more of the following symptoms, they may have contracted swine flu. The symptoms to be aware of are unusual tiredness, a headache, runny nose, sore throat, shortness of breath, a cough, loss of appetitive and aching muscles. In extreme cases the symptoms may include diarrhoea or vomiting.

If you think you have these symptoms or ever get them, contact your GP ASAP. Also, to avoid getting or spreading the virus I advise you to purchase hand sanitizer and pocket tissues just to keep everyone safe.

I hope this has been of some help to you....

and some words from 18-year-old female about it

- I think its kinda passing where I live now, because I haven't heard about it for a while & most people I know have already had it, including myself.

 

LOL

Т.е. наш ЕГЭ по АЯ она бы не потянула :blink:

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Всё конечно здесь очень интересно,а вот случаи перевода на уроке, 8кл,Qwueen`s speech-не поверите оказывается,...королева спичек.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Читали на днях отрывок из текста о Мэри Поппинс (учебник "EE - 5 - 6 классы") с учащимися и переводили некоторые предложения. Два предложения, которые мне очень понравились:

 

Mary Poppins and her friend Match-Man walked together in the little wood.

Мэри Поппинс и ее друг подбирали мужчину, гуляли вместе в маленьком лесу.

 

Suddenly they came upon a little open space filled with the sunlight.

Вдруг они набрели на маленький, открытый, раздвинутый стол с солнечным светом.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Larissabell, Владислав, спасибо, улыбнуло. :)

 

No smoking - без смокинга.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Иногда нечто интересное происходит на стыке языков. Вот, например, кое-что для тех, кто помнит латынь. Так в средние века могли бы звучать оправдания учеников:

http://www.wwu.edu/mcl/classical/resources...t%202%20pdf.pdf

 

Why have you come so late?

Cur tam sero venis?

 

Our family woke me up too late.

Nostris serius me somno excitaverunt.

 

I woke up later than I planned to.

Serius surrexi praeter voluntatem.

 

I woke up too late because of the party [dinner] that went on until midnight.

Serius expergefactus/a sum propter convivium [cenam] in mediam noctem prolatam.

 

Our clock was wrong.

Horologium nostrum aberravit.

 

By accident I left my book at home. So I had to run back home to get it.

Per negligentiam reliqueram librum domi; hunc ut afferrem, ex itinere domum recurri.

 

I helped my family stack firewood.

Adiuvi familiam in seponendis lignis.

 

Why haven't you come to school for so long a time?

Cur [quam ob causam] tanto tempore non venisti in scholam [ludum litterarium]?

 

I was sick.

Male habui. Aegrotavi.

 

My head [stomach] hurt.

Doluit mihi caput [venter].

 

I had a fever.

Laboravi febri.

 

I didn't have stockings [shoes].

Non erant mihi tibialia [calcei].

 

We were doing laundry at our house.

Lavimus domi nostrae.

 

We butchered swine [cattle,sheep].

Mactavimus porcos [boves, oves].

 

Here is one that is applicable for much of the US during the last week....

 

My parents didn't want me to attend school because of the great cold [excessive heat, rain, rainstorm].

Parentes noluerunt me frequentare scholam propter intensum frigus [vehementem aestum, pluviam, imbrem].

 

А какие excuses у ваших учеников бывают?

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
А какие excuses у ваших учеников бывают?

У меня был ученик, который часто опаздывал.Наш диалог обычно выглядел следующим образом:

Teacher: Why are you late?

Pupil: I don`t know?

Teacher: Who knows?

Pupil: I don`t know.

 

Никаких других аргументов он так и не научился приводить.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Here are some more students' mistakes:

The following questions and answers were collated from 2000 British GCSE exams (16 year olds):

Geography

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?

A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Technology

Q: What is a turbine?

A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

(http://www.etni.org.il/students/bloopworld.htm)

 

"On my way out I forgot to feed the hamster, but I remembered to drink it."

"Please stop by the office if you pass away"

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Think, Remember, Have Fun

 

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

 

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

 

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

 

4.. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

 

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

 

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

 

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

 

9.. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"

 

When we are already there?

 

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

 

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

 

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

 

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

 

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

 

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

 

16. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

 

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

 

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

 

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

 

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

 

When you know the batteries are dead?

 

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

 

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

 

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

 

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

26.Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах
Think, Remember, Have Fun

 

Спасибо, улыбнуло и расслабило.

Поделиться сообщением


Ссылка на сообщение
Поделиться на других сайтах

Создайте аккаунт или войдите в него для комментирования

Вы должны быть пользователем, чтобы оставить комментарий

Создать аккаунт

Зарегистрируйтесь для получения аккаунта. Это просто!

Зарегистрировать аккаунт

Войти

Уже зарегистрированы? Войдите здесь.

Войти сейчас

×